Greg's Goat Gets Got

All of us probably remember the episode where Greg, along with several other boys, had ‘kidnapped’ the rival school’s mascot, a goat, before the big game. Carol had had some members of the local PTA visiting her house that afternoon, along with the principal of the school, when this occurred. The goat had gotten away, and was wrecking considerable havoc in the Brady home, as Mike and all three boys were chasing it around. After having caught the goat, which Greg had been chosen to hold, obviously the adults were all quite upset. The principal gave Greg a punishment of writing a 5000 word theme over the weekend, which Mike and Carol gladly accepted for him. What if the punishment was otherwise, the type that we enjoy reading about? Here is that version.


“Gregory, I am very disappointed with you, young man,” Principal Laws began scolding him. “I felt you were a leader at school, and to act in this irresponsible manner…. Well, I thought you were better than this. Now you will be punished for these actions, Greg. But I am going to give you a choice as to what that is. If you will tell me the other boys who have helped you with this, you will have only a 5000 word essay, on responsible behavior, due next Monday (this was Thursday). However, if you choose not to tell me, you will have the choice between 5 days suspension, or 15 licks with my paddle, on your bare bottom. The choice is yours, Greg. Oh, and your paddling will be in a school wide assembly, so the other students will hopefully be deterred from such actions in the future, I believe, my boy.”

Greg swallowed, and thought this couldn’t be happening to him. He surely wasn’t going to rat on his friends here, since he was already in trouble, and would still be, even if he did. He was also relatively sure that his parents were going to be having a rather ‘warm discussion’ with him over this incident, no matter what he decided. It would probably be better to suffer, with friends, than without them, so his accomplices would remain silent, he determined. Still, getting suspended or paddled; that was a heck of a choice! Mr. Laws really swung a mean board, Greg knew first hand, and to be paddled in front of the entire school! He couldn’t imagine the embarrassment that would cause!

But Mike and Carol both knew what Greg’s decision would be. “Oh, Mr. Laws, Greg will be more than happy to be paddled by you, across his bare bottom, in front of the school, won’t you Greg?” Mike enthusiastically interjected, while giving Greg ‘The Look’, which meant this was a rhetorical question. “I’m sure he realizes the folly of his actions, and the chance to impress the other students concerning your disapproval of them would be worth any amount of pain and suffering. And he WILL NOT miss five days of school, being suspended, I assure you of that!” Carol, much to Greg’s chagrin, simply nodded in agreement. Greg’s doom was sealed! It was determined that the paddling would take place the next day, prior to the big pep rally.

That next day was the longest Greg had ever spent, so it seemed. The minutes seemed to drag by, and the last period of the day, when the pep rally (and his punishment) was scheduled would never arrive, he thought! Finally, the time arrived. Several of Greg’s teammates wondered why he wasn’t waiting with them to walk out into the gym, but they would find out soon enough. This was to be a surprise announcement from Principal Laws, and Greg had surely not informed anyone about the upcoming events!

As the pep rally began, Mr. Laws came and took the microphone. He berated the student body over the ‘kidnapping’ incident with the mascot, and how he was so disappointed in them over this. He then announced that one of the masterminds had been detected, and was about to be punished severely. “Greg Brady, come out here, NOW, and take your medicine, young man!”

As Greg walked out, Mr. Laws took out a chair, and his large, wooden paddle. This board was about 36” long, 5” wide and ¾” thick; it had 9 holes drilled into it, which were guaranteed to make Greg hurt, and hurt badly. The students all gasped at what was apparently about to happen. Many of the girls, including Marcia, began crying softly, because Greg was very well liked among them. This was not going to be pleasant!

“All right, Greg, loosen your jeans, bend over the chair and assume the position, young man. I’m about to bust your butt wide open, boy!” Miserably, Greg did as he was told, with tears already forming in his eyes from the humiliation. And he was about to suffer much more than mere humiliation! Thankfully, his bottom was facing away from the students, so they wouldn’t see that! Mr. Laws slipped his hand into Greg’s waistband, and pulled his briefs up tightly on both sides, exposing both hips. “Students, the goat of our rival was discovered at Greg’s house last night, and today he is going to get 15 licks with my paddle on his bare bottom. I truly hope that all of you are able to learn a valuable lesson from the heat in his bottom.”

Mr. Laws, having said this, raised his big paddle above his head and slammed it down relentlessly on Greg’s poor, unprotected bottom, fiercely.
SSSSPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!
SSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHH!!!
SSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!
KKKKKEEEEEERRRRRRAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!
CCCCRRRRRRRAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!

The paddling continued until the full 15 licks had been given to Greg; his bottom was aflame after the first few, and he was bawling like a baby by the time five licks had been given. He had forgotten just how hard Mr. Laws could swing that paddle! By the time he had gotten ten of them, his bottom felt like a well-roasted rump that Alice had prepared, and it certainly was every bit as hot as her oven would be! It took all of Greg’s strength to keep him in the position throughout the paddling; his hands had a grip of death on the chair legs! At the conclusion of it, Greg was certain his bottom was literally, and completely, Black and Blue all over it! He was certain he would never sit again, at least not comfortably! This was one whipping he was going to remember for a long, long time, he felt certain.

The students all were quiet as church mice during this paddling; you could have heard a pin drop in that gym! Many of them had experienced sessions with Principal Laws’ paddle before, but most had not. The raw power that was displayed was simply breathtaking. Most of the girls, even a few of the boys, had tears in their eyes, just from having witnessed Greg’s horrible spanking!

“Very well, Gregory. You may get up, and pull your jeans back up now,” Mr. Laws instructed him, at the end of the paddling. “I trust you have learned an invaluable lesson, and will think twice the next time before ‘borrowing’ another school’s mascot, Mr. Brady. Now, go take your place with the team. And let’s get this pep rally going!”

Greg miserably hobbled back over to his seat with the team. His bottom was throbbing, with hot waves of pain now; he didn’t even worry about the embarrassment he had just experienced (that would come later). As he slowly, and unsteadily, sat down (OOCCHHH!!!!!) with his teammates, a horrifying thought came upon him. He still had to face Mom and Dad this weekend!!